3 January 2003: Before the Big Bang

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The light that was before the Big Bang

Insights come to me of how things were before what we call the beginning of time. A bright, white ball of light.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

On an island in a lake – the rock – I came out of a hut.  I had bright red blood on my hands. The last book. I’m able to open the scroll.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I was working on the final phase of a building construction. The work involved renovating a house. A manager was there but he was not on site. He visited me frequently to see how the work was going.

I worked until late at night every day. My foreman was a hard man, but extremely fair.

I once said something to him like: “The time I have left on this construction work.”

It was time for breakfast. I came to a place and exclaimed: “I have been here before.”

My manager was sitting on my right, and he moved to sit on my left.
The waitress had so much in her hands that when she came over she almost dropped something. She managed it, though. She was a beautiful woman, who smiled all the time.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I had been to the bank to withdraw some money. When I took it out of my bag there were five hundred kronor notes in a small leather purses, one in each.

All the notes had holes in them or they were cut in half. All of them were damaged. I looked to see if the serial numbers were still visible. They were, so I went back to the bank to change them.

I understand so well.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

Before I started my rounds last night many thoughts came to me. How can it be like it is?

I closed my eyes and went back to the origin. I looked back on the Big Bang, trying to re-live what I had once seen.

I began to shout: “Call for and search for the souls that existed before this.”

And they existed, for many replies came. Faint signs that something, now in a dormant state, had existed for an infinite time. It felt as if there were states of existence behind those that are now existing; many more of them.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I had trouble concentrating, wandering here and there. I usually don’t do that. Even the numbers I had seen the previous night flashed before my eyes. It was just as if these numbers were souls who barely knew they existed.

Carrying with me my state of confusion, I went on my usual round. I managed it, even if I got interrupted now and again.

I went with them out into the light. Perhaps I went too far, but I wanted to be sure that everything was as it was intended to be from the beginning.

Suddenly, something happened!

There was a white ball, where neither time nor place existed. A state that has always existed. As if all that ever happens comes from this light. It was so white that I cannot find words to describe it.

I must have stayed there for a moment, I did not understand how I would get out of there and get back home again. I was not in any way afraid or feeling fear. It felt like I was myself a part of this light.

Back in bed, it was very hard to concentrate on the rest of what I should and usually do. I even felt worried the rest of the night. Not for myself, I do not know what.

When I try to put into words what I experienced, I understand a little more. I understand that which I love is around me.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

The answers came to me last night, from outside. They are weak, barely noticeable. In my thoughts the answers were transformed into what they were long ago. Everything was a reunion with a healing force that connects us. They become, once again, a part of me.

I take them to where I am and exist. When they go out into the light, they leave something good for me. Every cell in my body is filled with joy, it’s like I get anesthetized, and my cells rotate on their own spiral.

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“Faint signs that something, now in a dormant state, had existed for an infinite time”

 

 

 

 

“It felt as if there were states of existence behind those that are now existing; many more of them”

 

 

 

 

“Carrying with me my state of confusion, I went on my usual round. I managed it, even if I got interrupted now and again.” 

 

 

 

 

“There was a white ball, where neither time nor place existed. A state that has always existed.”

 

 

 

 

“Everything was a reunion with a healing force that connects us. They become, once again, a part of me.”

 

 

 

 

“Every cell in my body is filled with joy, it’s like I get anesthetized, and my cells rotate on their own spiral.”