Race to the summit
I get into a skiing competition where everyone else drops out. I get apprehended by the police who charged me with saying something I am not allowed to say. Am I living in an illusion? |
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It was something of tremendous joy. I Cannot touch it; I just know that it is this way.
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In my dream I had been out shopping for vegetables with a large bag. I came home and Chreel asked if I had watered them. I looked in the bag, and saw that the vegetables looked wilted. I had probably not watered them. Confirmation can come to you in many ways, some ways are less good. I had forgotten the plants during my rounds. I apologize for that. It’s hard sometimes when I am barely awake when I do my rounds. I had better get a grip of myself.
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A strong dream came to me in the middle of the night. I was on my way somewhere. I left the car and started walking into the forest, it was hard going. I came to an opening where a strip in the forest had been cut down. Many giant trees had been felled. I saw that the wood or the wood inside the bark looked peculiar. I was probably not on Earth. I eventually came up to some low, small houses. There were several creatures outside the houses, I do not believe they were people, but they resembled people. I thought that I could ask for directions here so I find my way back to the car. I was not in any way afraid of not finding the way back. I have tried to build a new road that no one believed existed for some time. I’m sure it is possible, and I think this was a beginning. It is not easy after close on fifteen billion years to get back to what was before and what had been before that and so on. I feel very old now as I write this down. Have I finally come to the Earth’s creation and even to the start of the universe? I have looked beyond, beyond, confidently looking forward to what possibly is occurring now.
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Between dreaming and drowsiness my mom faded in. In her hand she had a piece of amber and a fishhook, she wanted to give me them. Amber is something I love, and the fish hook indicates that I caught or found that which I love. It was like a telepathic conversation, a closure.
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I stood on a railway station platform; trains were coming and leaving incessantly, and there were long queues of passengers. Everyone had a small number in their hand, I myself was without. I tried to stand in the queue but did not manage it. The picture changed. There had been a kind of competition, which I had somehow won. Although shooting was on the program, the last shot was twenty-one. Everything was complete. I then met a woman who wanted me to attend a ceremony of some kind; they were giving out diplomas, a diploma that I among others would receive. I did not want to go to this ceremony; I did not like it at all. But the woman was insistent in every way. I was to be honored in some way. I did not think myself that what I did was anything to be honored for. This event would take place on an island somewhere. I do not know if it was in the ocean or on a lake this island lay. I got something at the table about ten years ago. In that case, I know what it is but it seems unlikely to me.
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I found myself in something that looked like a large park. The grounds and the paths were in disorder. It felt stressful. There were five rakes there, rakes I could use to make the park nice again. A fork with two sharp prongs came to me, I do not know how. The park was probably the Earth. I’ve been trying and trying all I can to help those I can help. It seemed that with the help of this fork I was able to do what remained.
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I was walking along the sidewalk with a woman. On the left there was a store. There was a woman in this store. I told the woman walking beside me that it was nice to not have any debts. I know that the woman in the shop had debts and that I could somehow take on her debts. It was also the case that these two women had something in common. Perhaps both were illusion and reality, the same person. This with debts, I think I understand.
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This morning a strong vision came to me. I saw a tall building, it was perhaps twenty floors high. There were lots of windows in rows, all the same. I realized when I saw this vision that they were not ordinary apartments. They were just single rooms upon single room. I also knew that one creature lived in each room, as a kind of holding pen until something else happened.
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I lay in my bed. At the other end of the room was a window. A man stood in this window, it was probably me, he had a fishing tackle box in his hand. He was casting nets out into space. There was so much line it went very far. He or I started to pull in the net, we rolled it up and put it back into the box. I was of course in bed at the same time and it was dark in the room. I suddenly saw a screen floating and shining in the room. It showed I had caught something way out there. It also showed the number eight clearly.
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I was walking along the road and met a woman who was carrying two heavy carrier bags. I told her, “I’ll carry your bags so you can walk easier”. We went on our way. We met many people who I knew since the old days. I knew by now that everything was a dream, and the farther we went the easier it was to carry the bags. And the woman disappeared from the picture. I was somewhere in the woods and saw a large yard and knew I was on the right path. I met some young men and asked them if they recognized the name of the farm for which I was searching. Yes, they showed me how I could walk the last bit. I then came up to the house that was my destination. There were many there and some of them I recognized. I told them that this was a dream. I also noticed earlier in the trip that my bright shirt was stained with blood. It was not my own blood, I’m sure of this. I felt a lot more, but cannot recall it.
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A competition was about to start, but it was not really a competition. Many men and women had entered. It was difficult to get to the starting point. It was snowy and cold outside so everyone had skis. There were big obstacles to overcome. All the others chose to take a route over a mountain; I thought it was not a good idea at all so I chose a very different route. The other contenders one after the other met with accidents. There were not many people at all who made it, only a few. Most fell along the way. Those who survived at the end were so exhausted and tired, I do not think anyone of them had the energy to continue. From this place I had to go up a very steep mountain. As I had such short skis, I thought that this would not be a problem. I looked forward with confidence to the final challenge. The dream ended there, I do not know how it ended. It was a competition but not really. For myself, I wish all participants good luck. I felt that I was just as happy for someone else to reach the top of the mountain. I did not think it was important who came first, only that one came up. I loved the other contestants; I felt sorry for them because they were so tired and could not continue. The fact is that for something in life to be successful, it is important from the beginning to really understand how to make progress to get where you eventually want to be. If there a strong faith and strong will the target can be reached. Failures come occasionally, but people should take a hold of it again, start re-thinking to eventually come to understand how to proceed.
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I was in a house that I used to stay in during the summer. I met a young boy, small in stature, with what I thought were old fashioned clothes. Next door they were digging a canal. There was an excavator in place and a man who was the foreman. The foreman had plans in his hands. The boy and I went to where he lived. We were standing outside a building that more or less looked like a cave. There was a wall in front of where a rock stood out. A window without glass in it was above the opening. I glimpsed the boy’s mother in the window. The mother was known to be quarrelsome, some even said that she was mean. I was going to shake her hand, but I couldn’t reach with my arm as stones were in the way. I discovered a passage to the side so I could go over and greet her. I wonder if I did not know this woman from a bygone era. I somehow recognized everything from Mary’s Church in Nazareth. Perhaps the mother was Nanthes’ mother. Anyway, we talked for a while.I was about to leave to go back to my permanent residence. I said to the boy Iíd see him again next summer and saw that he was happy about this.
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I was out somewhere meeting many people. I was about to go home, but couldn’t find the way, however I went and however hard I tried. Yes, sometimes I don’t know left from right. The question comes: Am I under an illusion, am I totally wrong about everything? I think in any case that what I believe is right, I can’t imagine anything else after this long time. I believe in my visions and dreams. If these are wrong then of course everything is wrong. Sometimes I go a bit too far both in and out. I try and reach for things I do not understand.
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A celebration was being held. I spoke with a woman about a dream I had. I was questioned by several police officers, there were lots of people who were dealing with what I said. The head of the police continued the examination. Even the doctor was brought in to give me injections so I would admit what I had done. But I knew in my mind I was totally innocent of all charges. As the dream came close to its end, it felt as if the interrogator himself started wondering if there was any truth that I had said these things. Yes, this dream haunted me for several hours after I woke up. It felt horrible that no-one believed me.
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